I am sorry that I have been dead to the world for the past week or two, I have been trying to clean up a Pandora's box of utter chaos.
The ultimate point of this post is that I am switching host families.
I will start by addressing the frequently asked questions;
Q. IS AFS officially moving you to another family?
A. Yes
Q. Are you getting sent back to the USA?
A. No.
Q. Are you living on the streets?
A. No, I am still with my host family until they can find me a temporary one, then a permanent one.
Q. Are you a horrible problem child, and they are kicking you out?
A. No I am not. Yes, they did ask me to leave, but it was a mutual decision.
Q. Where are you going?
A. You tell me, do you know any families who want a host student?
Q. Do you want to live on my sofa?
A. I appreciate the offer, but I think the program I paid $10,000 to had better find me a family before it comes to that.
Now, I am going to try to explain the sequence of events that led up to me moving families in the most fair and unbaised way possible...even though the entire story is actually about misunderstandings, feeling getting hurt, "broken telephones," language barriers, and personal opinions on what a host family/student should be.
Since I have arrived here, I was warned that my host siblings and father are shy.
Saying that my host family is shy is like saying that a dead person is only slightly handicapped.
I would walk into a room where my host siblings were talking, and they would stop talking for the entire duration of me being in the room. If I asked them a question, I would get a one-word answer,or a blank stare. I really really liked my host mom, but unfortunately, she worked a lot and was hardly ever home.
There were other things I found frustrating, such as that they never took me anywhere, except to visit their family occasionally. I have been here for almost 3 months, and everything I have done or seen, I saw with Mariah or her host family.
A couple of weeks ago I emailed my laison asking for help, but I got no reply. As usual with huge, worldwide, beaurocratic, programs, you don't hear from anyone until things get hugely disasterous ,and out of hand.
Since I do not want this to turn into me ranting about what I was unhappy about, I will just skip straight to last weekend.
On Friday, I was supposed to spend the night at Mariah's house. We went into the city together to meet with some friends, but shortly after we got there, Mariah decided she was going to go home because she was not feeling well, and was very tired. The plan was that I would take the metro and train back to her house later that night, but when it came time for me to go, my friends and I agreed that it was not the safest idea for a 16 yr old girl to take the metro and train alone at night in one of the biggest cities in the world. Instead, I stayed with one of my friends in the city. It was pretty late, so I made the mistake of not calling my host family and telling them the change in plans. I completely understand that they are responsible for me, and I should have called them. Please, no lectures.
They have never taken an interest in what I was doing, so I figured that if I was safe, and came back the next day (like I said I would) it shouldn't be a problem. I was wrong, and my host mom happened to talk to Mariah's mom, discovering I had infact not spent the night with her, and was very upset.
The next day, my host mom asked me where I had been on Friday night. I told her the truth, and tried to explain the situation, but she was very angry, and did not want to talk about it. She called AFS asking for advice on what to do, and my laison told her I had sent him an email saying I was unhappy before.
After hearing that, she decided to tell them to find me a new family. She informed me on Monday that I should call my laison, and schedule a meeting with him to find myself a family.
On Tuesday, I had a 3 and 1/2 hour meeting with the boss of AFS Madrid, and my laison. For a couple of hours, the boss tried to convince me that all families are different, and that does not mean they are "bad." I continued to explain that being ignored is not what I came to Spain for. She eventually got the picture, and agreed a change was necessary.
Right now, changing families is EXTREMELY difficult for multiple reasons;
1. I know of 8 students who are currently changing families
2. In AFS, the families are unpaid volunteers
3. Spain is very family-oriented, as in "this is my family, why would I take in anyone else?"
4. Even when they do find families, they need to be interviewed, and subjected to endless paperwork.
5. In Spain, there arew 3 different kinds of schools, public, private, and semi-private(half government funded, and half tuition). Because of this, any family that has money sends their children to semi-private, or private schools. Since all of the exchange students on AFS go to public schools, most of the families in the school are not in the position to take in another person.
I know fully well that changing families means you take whatever they give you, which could mean moving ANYWHERE (in Spain of course). However, my program does tell us we are more than welcome to look for our own families. All that we can do is give their phone numbers to one of the laisons, and they make all the decisions from there. I really like my friends here, and although my town is obnoxiously small, I have become very close with the people near me.
My friends at my school and I decided to atleast make an attempt to find me a family here so I don't have to start at a new school all over again.
Suprisingly, putting up one tiny sign in the school hallway can actually have an effect. 3 Families in my school offered to help, and over 30 people emailed me asking for information.
The headmistress got involved, and found me families in the surrounding schools as well.
I have a meeting tonight with the boss of the Madrid AFS and my laison. I have no idea what they are going to tell me. Once I know what is going on, I will let you all know. For now, you know as much as I do.
Love
Chloe
